Had my first official breakdown/freak out last night. I was watching a show on TV and one of the ladys on the show gave birth. Her husband was away in the military so was there on video on their laptop and all of her girlfriends were there with her so that made it even more emotional, but that isn't what did it for me. When they put the little baby on her chest is when I officially started to gasp, sob and stop even the dog in her tracks with wondering what I was doing. I quickly came-to, but it was weird! I totally imagined myself laying on a bed all sweaty and crying with a little baby - that was mine. Very strange feeling knowing what we've started!
I told Jason when he got back home and he laughed at me, and I was able to laugh at myself too, but seriously - it was oddly awakening for me!
We (and by we I mean me) have considered looking into having a Doula for our delivery. I love my nurse who will most likely be there and my Dr who will be one of 5 Drs that I will have met, will be there...so I don't necessarily want to get a midwife. I asked Jason his thoughts and he was wondering exactly what they do. I haven't talked to the lady yet (one of a few that I have found to get info from), but for the most part, they coach you and help you through the labor if and when needed. He said he thought he could handle it. I -lovingly- said something along the lines of "well, you think you can, but can I?"... he'll be great in there I know, but what if it takes for ever and we're both exhuasted and we get frustrated, etc....?! I think Mamie is having a Doula and when she crawls out from underneath her pile of work (yes, I admitted over her voice mail that I was stalking her), I plan to see what her research has found.
Thank God for a girlfriend being 3 months ahead of me in our newfound journey in life!!! I don't know what I would do...without friends, TV shows to snap me into reality...and of course my husband and puppy who are able to laugh with me (but mostly at me).
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